Even if you have been barely paid attention over the last few weeks, you will have noticed that we are in a period of bailout frenzy. From banks to car maker’s folks are standing in line to get their money.
<p>I’m proposing we do something different. In the past these banks and
car makers have failed. Now we’ve given them money and most likely they’ll fail again. Since we aren’t guaranteeing success, we should give the money to other groups of people. So here is my top 5 list of groups of people who should be receiving bailouts.
<p>1. Alternative engergy vehicle companies.</p>
<p>Sure the batteries have crappy output, and all the cars are very
expensive. That isn’t the point. The point is that these companies are doing something different. And when they fail, hopefully it’ll be because their ideas weren’t sound, rather than failing due to greed and over indulgence.
<p>2. Silicon Valley Startups</p>
<p>Do we need another social network? Of course we don’t. But aren’t we
all entertained to hear about how easy it is to share the smells of our farts with other like minded folks? I’m sure tagging and photo sharing are on the verge of something great. If only someone would chip in another billion or two.
<p>3. Reality TV production companies</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but the current breed of reality shows kind of
sucks. Imagine what gems could be produced with billion dollar budgets? Forgot home makeover show. I’m talking about neighborhood makeover shows and even more crazy stunts on shows like Wipeout.
<p>4. Stem cell research companies</p>
<p>I’m sure something good can come out of stem cell research. I’m not
sure sure what that might be, but deep down somewhere inside of me, something is telling me that stem cell research is good.
<p>5. Me</p>
<p>I have all sorts of ideas for a bailout check from the government.
I’ll setup a chain of pay day loan companies. What better way to stimulate the environment by providing people access to money now.
